Let's Start Over...

I should have put a bullet through my head. Or gulped down a bag of peanut M & M's.

Instead, I collapsed from exhaustion. I guess I was too tired to cry or feel anything when I got home. There were two bags: one paper, one plastic. There was a note attached on the paper bag. It hung there like an insipid love note, apathetic to the message it contains or to the person whose heart it'll break.

Inside the plastic bag were letters, poems, pictures and other stuff that would have brought me to tears. They say that before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. For this, I had no choice. It was flaunted to my face, all the memories, all the laughs, the moments. She seemed to say: "I wished all of this never happened." And of course, near the end of the note, she actually did.

Unlike you, I wouldn't wish such a thing. I treasured every minute I spent being with you, thinking of you, dreaming about you. But if this is the way you want to end things, then I'll just have to learn to live with it. I guess we really are two very different persons, inhabiting completely polar opposites, feeling different things at the same time. The time may never come when we finally become cats. Or sunshine. Or clouds.

Just a hunch.